he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
