is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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