ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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