I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
