Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
