Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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