I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
