oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
