omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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