i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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