Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
