i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
