omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I smell stomach acid.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
