so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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