Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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