Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
