We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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