So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
