I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
