Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
