i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
