At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
