I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Blood and glitter go together right?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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