Have you finally orgasmed yet?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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