anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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