What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
