also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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