She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
