I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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