My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
