so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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