i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
