I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
