Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
