She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
