Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
