What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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