Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
