Your tits are I can't wait for
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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