I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
