no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
