Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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