I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
