No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
