yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
