I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
