my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
