I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
