Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she smelled like a LAN party
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
