He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We have started to decorate penises.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
